Meeting someone new from a dating app, online site, or even a blind date set up through friends is exciting. But it’s essential to prioritize your safety when meeting someone for the first time. After all, you don’t really know this person yet. Let’s explore some practical strategies to ensure your safety when meeting a date for the first time.
Before the Date: Doing Your Homework
Safety starts long before you walk into that cafe or bar.
- Get to Know Them Online First: If you met online, take the time to get to know them virtually before taking the next step. Chat through the app, and if you feel comfortable, consider a video call. This can help you get a better sense of who they are and whether they are being truthful in their profile.
- Do Some Online Sleuthing: A little online research can go a long way. Check their social media profiles to see if their information matches what they’ve told you. Look for inconsistencies or red flags that might raise concerns.
- Trust Your Gut: If something feels off or if you have any doubts, trust your instincts. It’s better to be cautious than to ignore red flags.
Choosing the Right Location: Public and Safe
The location of your first date is crucial for safety.
- Meet in a Public Place: For the first few dates, always choose a public place with plenty of people around. Avoid meeting at someone’s home or a secluded location.
- Choose a Familiar Place: Opt for a place you’re familiar with, where you feel comfortable and know your way around.
- Consider the Time of Day: Meeting during the day or in well-lit areas can provide an added sense of security.
Telling Someone Your Plans: A Safety Net
Always let someone know your plans.
- Inform a Friend or Family Member: Tell a trusted friend or family member where you’re going, who you’re meeting, and when you expect to be back. Share a screenshot of your date’s profile and contact information.
- Check In During the Date: Send a quick text to your friend or family member during the date to let them know everything is okay.
- Use a Safety App: Consider using a safety app that allows you to share your location with trusted contacts or send alerts if you feel unsafe.
During the Date: Staying Aware and Alert
While on the date, stay aware of your surroundings and trust your instincts.
- Limit Alcohol Consumption: Avoid drinking too much alcohol on a first date. It can impair your judgment and make you more vulnerable.
- Stay Aware of Your Surroundings: Pay attention to your surroundings and the people around you. If something feels off or if you feel uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to leave.
- Trust Your Gut: If your instincts tell you something isn’t right, don’t ignore them. It’s better to be safe than sorry.
- Have Your Own Transportation: Avoid relying on your date for transportation. Drive yourself, take public transportation, or use a ride-sharing service. This gives you the freedom to leave whenever you want.
- Don’t Leave Your Drink Unattended: Never leave your drink unattended. If you need to use the restroom, take your drink with you or ask a friend to watch it.
- Be Assertive: Don’t be afraid to speak up if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Set clear boundaries and don’t hesitate to say “no” if necessary.
If Things Get Uncomfortable: Having an Exit Strategy
It’s important to have an exit strategy in case things get uncomfortable or unsafe.
- Have a Code Word: Establish a code word with a friend or family member that you can use to signal that you need help.
- Excuse Yourself to Make a Call: If you feel uncomfortable, excuse yourself to make a call to a friend or family member. This can give you a chance to assess the situation and decide how to proceed.
- Be Direct: If you need to leave, be direct and honest. “I’m not feeling well, so I’m going to head home.” or “I’m not feeling a connection, so I’m going to end the date here.”
- Don’t Hesitate to Leave: If you feel unsafe at any point, don’t hesitate to leave. Your safety is the most important thing.
After the Date: Reflecting and Following Up
After the date, take some time to reflect on the experience.
- Check In with Yourself: How did the date make you feel? Did you feel safe and respected?
- Communicate with Your Support Network: Talk to your friend or family member about the date. Share your thoughts and feelings.
- Following Up (or Not): If you enjoyed the date and felt safe, follow up with your date. If you didn’t feel comfortable or safe, it’s perfectly acceptable not to follow up.
Meeting someone new is always a bit of a risk, but by taking precautions and prioritizing your safety, you can minimize those risks and enjoy the dating experience.
Citations:
- RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network). 1 (n.d.). Dating safety tips. [https://www.rainn.org/articles/dating-safety-tips]
1. About The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN) – BetterHelp
- National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC). (n.d.). Safety planning. [https://www.nsvrc.org/]
- Psychology Today. (n.d.). Online Dating Safety. [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/202107/online-dating-safety]
Keywords:
Dating safety, Online dating safety, First date safety, Meeting strangers, Personal safety, Safety tips, Risk management, Dating apps, Online dating, First dates